#1 of Stuff God's Taught Me: Gratitude.

This topic is something that my friends have encouraged me to write about. So I'm going to try and do that. This will take weeks to write down possibly, so stay tuned. Dot-points are more easily digested. These come in no particular order, only what's immediate to my mind. Either you're interested in God, or interested in how illness or experiences change you. So hopefully I can satisfy both crowds somewhat but mainly be true in what I say!


 God has....

#1
 Taught me more about daily gratitude (thankfulness!) for everyday things that earlier on I took for granted. Things like air, breath, the ability to stand up or do something for myself. Australia, that provides the pension. A job if I want it. Friends who visit. Food. Family. Water. A roof and heater that works. People who don't abuse me. A spiritual family- my local church and other christians. The internet so I can remain connected to the outside world.

That's some of the basic life/material stuff.

Then there's the Spirit of God with me, despite how I feel. A bible for me to read and feed me. Jesus having taken my punishment on himself. Jesus' perfection given to me. God's patience, provision, gentleness and gracious Love, seen in the daily, occasional and often unexpectedly well-timed provision of all those things I listed in the first paragraph.

Pulling right back...

Thank you my Creator, thank you CFS/ME Oz. I've decided (with good counsel) not to work anymore. No more paid work for 6 months as a Speechie. And to think my boss is happy for me! A little volunteer admin for my clinic, yep- no worries! But no more pressure to get out of the house, dressed, fed, ready, help and engage with difficult dyslexic child, write, chat to boss, drive, home, crash! I'm so relieved, despite my ongoing need for a little extra cash (to top up the pension). Yeah, I'm being taught not to worry about money. My Big Brother happens to own all the assets in the universe so I'm trying to remember that.

For those with fatigue issues (be it CFS/ME, Fibromyalgia, POTS or other cause), please do check out this link from ME/CFS Australia on 'pacing'. http://www.mecfs.org.au//media/files/factsheets/English-Sheet4.pdf That is, pacing your activity/energy so that you not only survive, but allow space to heal and get better!! Yeah commmooonnn!

I should have read this document 3 years ago. My instinct was saying that even 1 client a week plus admin was too much (my current working level). Having checked an objective measuring scale of disability, I should be aiming for 50% of my capability each day, to get 'energy credit', kind of like a budget for savings, for healing. I've been using up all my weekly budget without allowing any 'slush' fund for my mitochondria (energy-making machines in cells) to draw from. Thus, when I bring myself into an energy deficit, I'm slowly decreasing what's left of any savings (if any) and making things worse. Well, that's one aspect of the picture, but a big one at that. The measurement scale told me where I was function-wise, and what I should be doing. I have not been doing 'less enough'.

So I'm very grateful for this timely little fact sheet at the beginning of a school Term, a perfect time to take leave from an extremely gracious and generous boss. The timing of my discovery only ingrains my certainty that my Dad is boss of the timing of everything too. I wonder about his timing of me finding the fact sheet now, rather than earlier. But all things good come from him, whenever they come, so I'm not complaining!