Healed by the Healer! Thank you Jesus!!

So, about 3 months later, I write to announce wonderful news that the healing that I anticipated....

...has HAPPENED!
Yes: I kid you not. Jesus broke into my life way earlier than I expected- ie. early May! (Picture above a little drawing I did as a small 'Thank You').
The reason I've not been online for so long is for this very reason. I've been out and about living life!

In short, after intense prayer from a man called Ken Fish (this man really knows how to operate in spiritual authority like Jesus), the wretched beast broke. He prayed, but it was Jesus who healed, as Ken would confirm.

The day after several hours of prayer, my heart changed its functioning. My nap times halved immediately in duration. Within a month (early June) I was not needing any naps during the day whatsoever. I can not tell you what a joy it was that day! I would walk around the kitchen and continue exclaiming- 'I can cook my dinner! I don't need to sit down! I don't need to rest today! I can walk!'

I was not getting payback when I did a bit more. I could exercise, and not crash! 

So much to share, I doubt I can get it all ordered.

My spirit, body and soul were oppressed for so long- longer than the illness itself even, and I was released from much of it over the weekend of May 8, 2012.

Confronting spiritual roots of illness were identified and broken, praise the Lord!

A religious, or performance-based spirit was removed (performance for love not from love).

Pride.
Other relational and emotional healing was administered in prayer.

My heart had a death assignment over it. It was getting worse- the lack of fitness, it's pumping efficacy.

My multiple hypersensitivities were broken. I can now sit in a busy restaurant or church and not be overwhelmed by the sights, sounds or noise!

My immune system was cleared! I've not had a immune flare-up since- except once or twice after busy days when I needed to just chill and also fight a lady's infection off who I was staying with).

I was able to rapidly (at a supernaturally fast pace) begin getting off my sleeping pills. Rivitril (a more addictive one) is still being used, but at low doses. You can't just jump off these straight away, they need to be petered out. I'm actually at a point now where sleep is being difficult at lower doses, so I am slowing down my weening right now. But the feeling of need for them at bedtime has gone.

All these changes described are the outworking of something much deeper. My body's curse of illness was broken by the power of Jesus around 2000 years ago. On the cross. When Jesus was killed by the religious leaders of the day- and the people, as prophesied. The healing began to manifest powerfully as administered over time- more intensely over the year gone by (See previous posts). A few months ago I saw the results for the first time! I still am seeing them, praise God (Please excuse the overuse of the exclamation mark. You must understand that I am indeed excited)!

His blood shed on the cross was enough to administer full healing and deliverance for me, for everyone. By his wounds, I am healed! He was pierced (with nails) for all our offenses. He bore the sickness and curses that came with them too.

Now I can drive far. To the dandenongs, and back- then to Kew and back (to Nunawading) one night: 2 hours of driving, it was roughly. Before this, I could drive no more than 10 minutes without needing to lie down.
I'm doing things everyday, and not needing to sleep afterward. I'm running, walking and dancing: keeping fit! I'm shopping and doing housework. I even moved house, mostly by myself (aside from the heavy lifting of desks etc).

Today I still am regaining my strength, and learning so much about operating by faith in God. I'm learning to 'walk in my healing', to operate out of rest and of the Spirit, not by my own effort- a large part of what I learnt while ill. 

I'm a totally different person to what I was 2 and a bit months ago, even a year ago!
God has brought some new people into my life as well who are encouraging me in what I'm going through with regard to healing today- for myself and others. New experiences of community. I'm so grateful for this amazing provision.

There's too much to share, but more will follow as I'm able. I'm learning, and still processing, and still healing in some deeper ways, all necessary and good. Peace and healing to you my friend! Jesus is alive and He brings healing and hope to all who come to Him, even me!

[Please note I have also been DANCING! It's so refreshing and joyful to be able to twirl and jump, twist and stomp around the house and at worship gatherings without limitation, or the fear of overdoing it. I am really looking forward to a surf one day soon as well].

#5: Still dancing inside!

Well the dancing thing has helped! It has given me a way of expressing my creative side as well as my urge to worship God. I've had to time myself with my ipod clock- keep it under roughly 5 or 6 minutes (this month); 1 song, which is what I can cope with in terms of aerobic exercise at present.


I do strength exercises on alternate days still. This is only when I have not over-done it. Last week, over-doing it was seeing a few too many people after a trip to the hilly Dandenong mountains with my good friend from France (here only a month!). I also won't do exercise during post-exertional malaise (PEM), crash-time and for a few days after this, not until my 'immune flare-up' (as now succinctly described in the latest article  on immune signatures of CFS/ME (wait 45 seconds to download for free)) has resided. Discerning when to build a little strength again is quite hard sometimes... but I can usually tell nowadays.


I have actually weakened in my exercise capacity, and thus overal energy capacity. But hey- winter has set in, chills get caught more easily, especially when my ability to regulate body temperature is akin to getting a drunk man to walk straight. Again, part of the package. A package that means I need to be gracious towards myself when I get it wrong, whilst forgiving and educating others when they don't understand..


However, I need to learn from my mistakes. Always blow-dry my hair in the new house, even if it's sunny outside (or I will get a chill and crash). Try to do something biggish with a FORTNIGHT gap inbetween, not a week. So I probably won't go to Phillip Island this weekend as planned. I'll take it easy.


Gifts have come to me from outside and inside, to encourage me in the bad days of PEM, which was last weekend, and then some.


Outside: My friend Anna came today to play me a song on her guitar from a psalm in the bible. It was too loud, but it was beautiful. It wore me out when she strummed enthusiastically from less than a meter away (sensory overload)! We laughed about that when I told her because she thought she was blessing me, which she was- kind of!  Then she prayed for me. 'God loves you, Kara!' was the message. Beautiful! Very thankful.


From inside: remembering that God is all I have, and that if I'm to die now, I lose nothing, and gain everything (it often feels like death during PEM). 'To live is Christ, to die is gain' (Phillipians 1:21). Heaven is my home.


Another Outside encouragement- Reading the book of Lamentations, now in chapter 3. Along with the cries of the writer, I can also recognise that though I do not suffer because of specific sins (in contrast to the Israelites experiencing the punishment of horrific exile, as warned), it is true that considering my stubborn shunning of the Author of life over the years, nothing I do really has me deserving of the gift of life itself, let alone the deservedness of good health. This is actually encouraging because it reminds me again of God's grace to me, that he even graciously breathes life, keeps my heart-beat daily, enough to pour out my anguish to him, comforting me in the knowledge of his compassion, loving presence and faithfulness. And also, that God does not 'willingly afflict anyone'.


The writer repeatedly uses the ancient Hebrew terms (transliterated) 'yhl' and 'qwh' to refer to 'hoping' and 'waiting expectantly' simultaneously- for God. The promise is that for those who do so, his goodness comes. It's certainly something that any one of us can do! That's all God wants! What a relief: no more performing, just waiting for Him, with expectation that He is enough. We don't need numerological studies for a date to do this, unlike the apocalypse predicters this past weekend!


Recalling God's compassion amidst loss is the center-piece of this little bible gem Lamentations, as well as it's 3rd chapter, as is helpfully summarised by Barry Webb in 'Five Festal Garments: Christian reflections on The Song of songs, Ruth, Lamentations, Ecclesiastes and Esther'. I recommend this read for anyone who wishes to study this book and understand it!


What's also kept me dancing on the inside has been the encouragement of friends who have responded to the Chase Community Giving request this week. If you haven't already, vote for 'Whittemore Peterson Institute' in CCG, which supports research, advocacy and treatment for the pathophysiology of neuro-immune diseases such as ME/CFS, fibromyalgia, atypical MS, and autism. I emailed all my family and friends, and most of them haven't responded yet! Sometimes people need a little reminding. I'm encouraged by a fellow sufferer in the US to keep on at it, without shame or fear of annoying people. It's worth it, I have to remind myself! 


We all need hope, and I have discovered great perseverance and hope from fellow sufferers through years and years of this. Thanks for your inspiration- you know who you are! For me, my sure hope is in God, as his promise of full healing is found in Jesus who has healed, who does still, and one day that is what I will have for certain in him, physically, emotionally for good. This future hope helps me to keep working towards it today, and God's Spirit himself empowers me to dance towards it too! 


The following bible passage shows how this can be anyone! Simply through faith in Jesus- nothing religious/requiring of anything good on our part! Since we aren't, and can't really...


"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:1-4 9 (My italics)


Hope to you!

Mourning into dancing

"Dry your tears, for soon you shall dance." This was a word given to me at a praise and prayer gathering at my church last Saturday.


Dare I believe it? I will. With all my heart. I've already been dancing. 
This process began when a night of grief overtook me after I began to play the piano on Friday for the first time in, shall we say, a little while? What a waste of this gift that God had given me! So beautiful, these song-gifts. 


I've hardly shared them over the last year. Hardly played alone even. I've been too unmotivated, too fatigued, too burdened with my 'to do' list when I DO have energy, that I've let this gift lie dormant.


But they're not dead I've realised. God knows, he is gracious and has a plan.


Since a night of lament and praise- a public display of grieving and tears, receiving joy, hope, prayers, words and hugs from beautiful women who held me up so I could dance to the last song- I have been released in a new way, again.


I'd been praying about what kind of exercise to do that would actually get me fitter and stronger; out of this frustrating plateau of cyclic floppiness! 


The answer came on Sunday morning following. I can dance! I love to dance before God. I've missed this so much without knowing. This morning, for the second time, I did it in the garden, in front of our hard-rubbish pool on the grass with my ipod pumping 'I surrender...to youuuu... Your love makes it worth it all...' Maybe I'll have over-done it today. Who knows? But either way, my songs are flowing again, my love is growing, his love keeps flowing, and I am joyfully not in control of my days. 


A new day is today. Tomorrow is newer still. And God never takes you backward in his love, only deeper and forward, and I can not wait to see how and where that will be. And it's so like Jesus to give us all of this:

Isaiah 61:
¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, 
   because the LORD has anointed me 
   to proclaim good news to the poor. 
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, 
   to proclaim freedom for the captives 
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,^[a] 
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor 
   and the day of vengeance of our God, 
to comfort all who mourn, 
 ³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion— 
to bestow on them a crown of beauty 
   instead of ashes, 
the oil of joy 
   instead of mourning, 
and a garment of praise 
   instead of a spirit of despair. 
They will be called oaks of righteousness, 
   a planting of the LORD 
   for the display of his splendor.