Mourning into dancing

"Dry your tears, for soon you shall dance." This was a word given to me at a praise and prayer gathering at my church last Saturday.


Dare I believe it? I will. With all my heart. I've already been dancing. 
This process began when a night of grief overtook me after I began to play the piano on Friday for the first time in, shall we say, a little while? What a waste of this gift that God had given me! So beautiful, these song-gifts. 


I've hardly shared them over the last year. Hardly played alone even. I've been too unmotivated, too fatigued, too burdened with my 'to do' list when I DO have energy, that I've let this gift lie dormant.


But they're not dead I've realised. God knows, he is gracious and has a plan.


Since a night of lament and praise- a public display of grieving and tears, receiving joy, hope, prayers, words and hugs from beautiful women who held me up so I could dance to the last song- I have been released in a new way, again.


I'd been praying about what kind of exercise to do that would actually get me fitter and stronger; out of this frustrating plateau of cyclic floppiness! 


The answer came on Sunday morning following. I can dance! I love to dance before God. I've missed this so much without knowing. This morning, for the second time, I did it in the garden, in front of our hard-rubbish pool on the grass with my ipod pumping 'I surrender...to youuuu... Your love makes it worth it all...' Maybe I'll have over-done it today. Who knows? But either way, my songs are flowing again, my love is growing, his love keeps flowing, and I am joyfully not in control of my days. 


A new day is today. Tomorrow is newer still. And God never takes you backward in his love, only deeper and forward, and I can not wait to see how and where that will be. And it's so like Jesus to give us all of this:

Isaiah 61:
¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, 
   because the LORD has anointed me 
   to proclaim good news to the poor. 
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, 
   to proclaim freedom for the captives 
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,^[a] 
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor 
   and the day of vengeance of our God, 
to comfort all who mourn, 
 ³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion— 
to bestow on them a crown of beauty 
   instead of ashes, 
the oil of joy 
   instead of mourning, 
and a garment of praise 
   instead of a spirit of despair. 
They will be called oaks of righteousness, 
   a planting of the LORD 
   for the display of his splendor.